wondering

I never have wondered this much until now.

Am I truly making an impact on these students? I almost feel like my second block is turning into a lost cause. Some of the students are wonderful and great, but its the ones who are continuously defense and do not want your help. What are you suppose to do?

It worries me even more now since teachers are being "graded" based off student performance and observations. I am so nervous. As a teacher, I want the highest grade and I want for parents/teachers to feel like they do have a great teacher that produces even better results.

The grading process is just a thing I will have to get use to. I am sure anywhere I go it will be there too.

Tomorrow is one of my greatest friend's birthday's! Ms. Erin Fontenot :) I am so thankful for the friends like her that I have in my life. They are what help get me through..

Well, that's all for now in this intriguing, captivating blog :)

fall break.

why are you ending so soon?

life has thrown be yet another curveball.
I'm just not ready to face it yet.
maybe, i'll go into more detail later.

just for those of you that read, I may or may not fill you in. just say a little prayer for me this week.
i am scared, nervous, and just don't understand clearly what or why things happen.

but, tomorrow is another day. fall break is over. and yet, i am still being taught something every single day. it's all in the days of teaching. <3

surprise.

today, i was passing out papers to get started on practicing for our midterms.

students are not allowed to talk in my class, but all of a sudden i had one start like he was leading a cheer!!

no instead, he was leading the class into singing me happy birthday.


i love my students. sweet, precious students. 

100 days.

Today is 100 days since I have married matthew :) 

100 beautiful days.

life changing days.

loving, wonderful days.

oh to spend 100 more? nah, tens of thousands.

<3

West Texas

With teaching, there are plenty of bad days. Days that you wonder why you even decided to become a teacher.. There are times when you wonder if you should go back to school and do whatever you thought you should've done first.

I've been there a few times, but overall I have always loved it by the end of the day..or week. :)

When I have those bad days, I usually think about West Texas.

Oh, how I love. love. love west texas. All the fresh air it brings. It is truly relaxing to me.

I went to West Texas in the spring of 2010 coming off what I consider to be one of the worst years of my entire life. I lost my best friend Jonah that previous year, and his mother just a couple weeks before the trip. West Texas, well I was worried, but extremely ready to get away. While in West Texas, we climbed a mountain. Well, what I consider a mountain which is anything considering I am in Louisiana.

After an entire year of solid no emotions, insomnia, depression, and counseling, when I reached the top of the mountain I felt peace. For the first time, I felt strength. Emotions I had not felt in an entire year, happiness---I finally felt.

So, those days when I feel that I cannot go another day or that I am doing the wrong job, I just think of west texas. and I think of the indescribable hope, peace, and joy that it brings me.

life.

ah, life.

It is SO busy at times. I feel like I meet myself coming!

School has gotten so much better (hope I am not jinxing myself by typing this) since the beginning of the year! I am enjoying ALL of my classes now and truly can say that I love those juniors. They are just a whole class of fun all day long. Each class is definitely unique and individual on their own; there is no way to pick just one favorite! :)

Sometimes I wonder if students know just how much teachers care about them.

As for things besides school, I miss my family dearly. I miss having friends. But, I think those are just things that happen when you grow up and get married. People i guess think that you are too busy for them? I guess it just happens as you go through life.

Don't get me wrong. I love my husband, and I throughly enjoy life with him. He truly is the best in the world. I appreciate the fact that he understands when I am way too tired to do anything or if I have a headache he understands. I could write ten thousand words describing my feelings for him, but I may save that for another time ;)

So, being content in that fact I believe is a good idea. I know friends are definitely not forever and that they come and go; I guess I just did not realize how quickly just because you decide to grow up. But, its okay. That's life, and it's the days of teaching. 

sis-in-law

 niecey & sissy

 brudder & me

 my <3

falling behind?

ugh, there are not enough hours in the day!

I feel like i am constantly falling behind. There's never enough time to grade papers, create wonderful exciting lessons, and spend time with family & friends. Does anyone else feel this way? Or am I alone in this? Is this "newbie teacher problems" or what?

Hopefully I will be able to catch up, but I have never seemed to have this problem last year so whats up? Maybe I am not in the routine of things. Who knows.

On a side note, today was possibly one of the worst days I have had teaching or at least in the top 10 :)
Despite all the ups and downs, I did get to see the world through one of my student's eyes today. What she has experienced so far in life is way beyond what I have words to comfort her for. I applaud students like her for making it as far as she has in life. I know I probably have those type students a dime a dozen, but very rarely do I get to actually hear and see it.

It way a light in the middle of the darkness today. Quite literally :)