Lately, I have read multiple articles discussing singleness.
A 20 something year old's desire and struggle with loneliness is a real issue for the present day female.. (well male too, but all the articles I read are written by females...so... yeah)
Don't misunderstand what I am attempting to convey with these words because even though I did not experience loneliness in your aspect, I experience the same feeling and problems you experience as a single male or female just in other ways.
To those dear, sweet article writers, please note: Just because I am married at a young age does not mean my life is now over or that my life "is just beginning." It does not mean that I did not look for my self worth in Christ and rather found the worth in my husband. By you stating those things against me, a stereotype is set forth just like the ones that have been created for yourselves.
I, too, experience the same emotional problems that 20-somethings-year-olds experience. Just became I am married does not make me exempt from "the transition of university life to the real world." No, I think the transition becomes that much more difficult because my life is not longer about me. My life is pleasing God first and foremost (as it was before marriage) and meeting the needs of my husband. Rejecting my own desires in an awkward stage of life may be one of the most difficult things I will have to do.
Just because I am married does not mean I want to have children. You may get asked on numerous occasions "well, when are you having kids." Yeah, I get the same questions too. It seems as though we have a lot in common. You state that you would just like people to just "ask you what's now." Should they not do the same for me? People automatically assume because I am married, I am going to pop out a child at any moment or even rub my stomach and ask when I am due. Do you know how embarrassing THAT is? I do not even look pregnant. So, yes. I would enjoy a delightful conversation on what is going on now too because the now is the important, beautiful thing about both of our lives. The part that should not be wasted on wishing and dreaming as you also suggest.
You imply that you struggle with loneliness? Well, so do we. While marriage is beautiful, loneliness abides in places other than having a soul companion. Did you ever think about the separation you experience from your family members? As the Scriptures say, "A man leaves his father and mother and is joined to his wife, and the two are united into one." As beautiful as this is, have you ever thought about how empty you can feel when you know you are not going home to your mother and father after a disagreement with your spouse? Or, when your parents no longer visit you? Because I am now married, even friends, assume I am with my husband 24/7. Those friends, I feel, have left abandoned me. Loneliness in your world is real, but loneliness in my is as well.
Society does tend to put a magnify glass upon the ideas of marriage. Actually, let me correct that, society tends to overemphasis the glamour and pizazz of a wedding. Never do they treasure and emphasis the actual marriage. As you have claimed, they do make one feel as though they are not "good enough" if you are not married however they do not show the side of marriage that you do not see--the struggles of two individuals learning and growing together. As beautiful as it sounds, there is so much difficulty in the process. Would I trade it for the world? Never.
Please do not think that I am unhappy with marriage because if that is what you are reading then you are missing the point entirely. Mankind attempts to make look like the next step for you. They make marriage look like something you are on the outside of if you are single. They make marriage look EASY. Labeled. Just like those who are still single are what? labeled.
Being placed in an role that society assumes you should perform in for your time of life is degrading. Yes, I know how you feel.
I believe that no matter what stage you are in life mankind will always places limitations or expectations on what they believe you should be doing. Single. Married. Divorced. Retired. Everyone has a role they are "suppose" to perform. But, you dear, sweet article writers, that's the beauty of life. Whoever reads this blog. You don't have to play the part. God has called us each to a plan more beautiful than one we could ever imagine. Part of mine was marriage. Yours may be singleness.
Embrace that. This is time in life that we will never get back.
Enjoy it.
"100 Years"
Five for Fighting
I'm 15 for a moment
Caught in between 10 and 20
And I'm just dreaming
Counting the ways to where you are
I'm 22 for a moment
And she feels better than ever
And we're on fire
Making our way back from Mars
15 there's still time for you
Time to buy and time to lose
15, there's never a wish better than this
When you only got a hundred years to live
I'm 33 for a moment
Still the man, but you see I'm a "they"
A kid on the way, babe.
A family on my mind
I'm 45 for a moment
The sea is high
And I'm heading into a crisis
Chasing the years of my life
15 there's still time for you
Time to buy and time to lose yourself
Within a morning star
15 I'm all right with you
15, there's never a wish better than this
When you only got a hundred years to live
Half time goes by
Suddenly you’re wise
Another blink of an eye
67 is gone
The sun is getting high
We're moving on...
I'm 99 for a moment
And time for just another moment
And I'm just dreaming
Counting the ways to where you are
15 there's still time for you
22 I feel her too
33 you’re on your way
Every day's a new day...
(oh oh ohs)
15 there's still time for you
Time to buy and time to choose
Hey 15, there's never a wish better than this
When you only got a hundred years to live
